Those five minutes were the longest five minutes of my life… or that’s how it felt. I’ve never taken a pregnancy test before, and I honestly had no clue if I even did it correctly. When the timer rang, a rush of nerves, excitement, feeling, scared, happy, and not prepared at all for what could be consumed every single bone in my body. I just didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that the answer had the ability to change my life forever… for the better!
I flipped the test over and the clearest two lines appeared. I was pregnant. My husband immediately smiled and could not contain his soft excitement of bringing a new life into this world. I, on the other hand, felt a sense of panic. Fear of the unknown. How will my body react? How will I feel the next nine months? Am I capable of such magic? Will I be a good mom? All these questions filled my head, and in that moment the only emotion I felt was nervousness.
Thankfully, that feeling lasted a couple of minutes because my husband immediately hugged me and said we will go through this together and we will be okay. We are ready and we are going to make the best team. He knew exactly what to say, to calm my mind, and allow me to feel excited, happy, and full of hope for everything that is about to take place. My First pregnancy test and there it was very clear… I was pregnant. I wanted to tell the whole world, but it was late at night, and I would have to wait for the morning to be able to tell my mom. I just knew she would know exactly what I would have to do next. That night I dreamt of my future child, of what they would like, of becoming a mom and a parent, of experiencing and going on such a magical journey for the next 9 months, and of getting to meet them and see their beautiful face and know they were created with so much love.
That night I thanked my lucky stars for allowing me to begin this journey and for surrounding me with so many loving human beings to support me and guide me throughout my journey and what is to come. I felt so much gratitude and sense of wonder.
I woke up very early, something I’ve never done in my life, but my excitement would not let me continue to sleep. I facetimed my mom to tell her and show her the news. I did have a plan, but as soon as I saw the positive pregnancy test, my plan went out the door on how to tell my mom. I then called my doctor’s office to book an appointment. Everything felt so new and magical and exciting as I was holding in such a special secret.
I did in fact go to work the next day and immediately tell one of my coworkers because I am not good at all at keeping any kind of secret. Let alone a huge one like this. It was in that moment when I told someone in person that I was pregnant that everything all began to feel real. My new reality. The nerves all came rushing back and I confided in my good friend I had just told if all these feelings and emotions were normal, and of course, the answer was yes.
Will I be ready? Will my body be okay? How will I feel? Will I feel different? What will the baby look like? Who will they be? What will their personality be like? Will we be good parents? Will I be scared? So many questions going through my head. So many new thoughts, ideas, and new perspectives. But that’s a topic for another blog. Until next time!
Sincerely,
Mama Bird